Navigating Grief During the Holidays: Honoring My Dad and Best Friend

The holiday season has always been painted as a time for joy, family gatherings, and celebration. But for those of us who have experienced loss, it can feel more like a glaring spotlight on what—or who—is missing. This year, as I’ve faced the holidays without two of the most important people in my life—my dad, Dr. Rosby L. Glover, and my best friend, JB Borders III—I’ve been reflecting on how to navigate this season with grace, intention, and love.

Allow Yourself to Feel Everything

Grief doesn’t come with a handbook, and it certainly doesn’t take a holiday break. One moment you might feel like decorating the tree or baking cookies, and the next, you’re overwhelmed with sadness. And that’s okay.

I’ve learned to give myself permission to feel every emotion that arises—joy, sadness, anger, gratitude—without judgment. The holidays tend to amplify emotions, so letting myself feel them instead of pushing them away has been a necessary step toward healing.

Create New Traditions While Honoring Old Ones

Traditions can be comforting, but they can also feel painful when the people who made them special are no longer here. This year, I’m leaning into a balance of both old and new.

For my dad, Dr. Rosby Glover, who was the epitome of strength and wisdom, I plan to spend the holidays with my brothers, mom, nieces, nephews, and bonus sisters. We always share stories about him – but especially during the holidays we ensure to keep his memory and his spirit alive. He loved community and bringing people together, so I want to continue that spirit by gathering with family in his memory. It’s not only what he would want us to do, but he set a solid foundation for us to continue these traditions on.

For JB Borders III, whose laughter and energy could light up any room, I’ll play his favorite songs (he loved Aaliyah and Snooze by SZA) and make sure I look my best—just like he would’ve encouraged me to do. It’s my way of keeping his presence alive. I was always way more standoffish than JB, he could make a friend anywhere he went. I’ve learned to let my light shine more without being so guarded all the time.

Lean Into Support Systems

Grief can feel isolating, especially during a season that emphasizes togetherness. I’ve found comfort in leaning on family, friends, and my chosen community that understand what it means to grieve during the holidays.

It’s so important to surround yourself with others who will stand in for you when you can’t for yourself.

Talking openly about my dad and JB helps me keep their memories close, and sometimes, hearing stories from others reminds me that I’m not alone in this journey.

Focus on Giving Back

One of the most meaningful ways I’ve channeled my grief is by giving back to others. My dad dedicated his life to service, and JB always showed up for the people he loved. Honoring their legacy through acts of kindness—whether volunteering, donating, or simply checking in on someone else who might be struggling—feels like a way to keep their spirits alive.

Practice Self-Compassion

This season, I’m reminding myself that it’s okay if I don’t have the energy to do all the things I used to during the holidays. Grief is heavy, and healing takes time. It also taught me to take the time to slow down, reflect, and be grateful for another day, because it’s a blessing.

Whether it’s taking a long walk, journaling, or simply sitting with my thoughts, I’m prioritizing self-care. I’ve learned that honoring my emotions doesn’t mean I’m stuck in sadness—it means I’m allowing myself the space to heal.

Final Thoughts

Grieving during the holidays is one of the hardest things I’ve faced, but it’s also given me a deeper appreciation for love, memories, and connection. My dad and JB left indelible marks on my life, and while this season will never be the same without them, their legacies remind me to keep living fully and boldly.

For anyone navigating loss this holiday season, know that it’s okay to grieve and celebrate at the same time. It’s okay to smile through tears, to honor memories while creating new ones, and most importantly, to give yourself grace.

In the words of Jhene Aiko – You gotta keep goin’.